It never rains but it pours

After roughly a month and a half of, for me, disappointing unproductivity I now find myself with almost no time to breathe. I feel like it's partly my fault. I was sick of feeling like an unnecessary addition to the nursing dorm and I probably became a little too squeaky of a wheel. But it's partly due to murphy's law, as always. so now we're faced with the end of the semester and we need to complete 20 hours of conversational English classes, plus 9 hours of remedial English help, plus tutoring and chapel and intensive Thai and planning for the fast approaching summer work camps and international baccalaureate and preparing the Christian group for a Founder's Day performance... Yep, it's pretty busy. Of course that means that it's all coming at exactly the wrong time. My roommate's sister is coming to visit and I have been semi-unwell due to a bad case of cellulitis. 

Last weekend was the senior quest camp for the international college's graduating seniors. We all helped organize the camp and facilitated activities. It took place at Doi Khun Tan, a "mountain" campsite not too far from Chiang Mai. The site actually belongs to Payap and going there reminded me (for some reason) of going to my uncle's cabin on priest river. Probably because the facilities were similar. Anyhow, it went well and I had a pretty good time. It's always nice to get away from the city. But I think that's where I got the infection. I don't know how it started, but I must have picked up some bacteria or something because I developed what looked like a bite from the world's largest mosquito on my leg. But this is Thailand, so I really didn't think much of it. I assumed it would go away in time. But when it didn't and I started feeling feverish I decided maybe I should get it checked. I was given some antibiotics and told it should go away in 24 hours. 

Which brings us to yesterday, when I woke up on the proverbial wrong side of the bed. I hadn't slept well and I was in a very bad mood, for various reasons. And from then on, it was another one of those days where everything goes wrong. I ran out of cereal, which means I didn't get a proper breakfast. Then I discovered that I'd accidentally left my bike in the no-parking zone overnight. That meant it was chained up and I had to pay 50 baht to get the chain unlocked. Unfortunately this has happened to me a couple times before now. You'd think I would learn. 

so I was extremely late to Thai class and couldn't focus because of all the negative thoughts I had in my head. It had been 48 hours and while I told myself that my leg felt better, everyone insisted that it looked worse. I really didn't want to go back to the hospital because I haven't received my insurance card yet and was already feeling a bit strapped for cash. But I went to ask my boss at the nursing dorm about the insurance card and when she saw my infection she told me not to wait but to go to the hospital. Unfortunately it was also my first day of a new conversation class, this time with theology students. I was excited to teach again, especially since I feel like I have a better idea of how to teach and what I need to work on. But by this point I was feeling very tired and put out and no longer able to convince myself that my leg felt any better. 

The thing about the first day of class is that it is full of unknowns. I can prepare all I want to, I have no idea how things are actually going to go. Because teaching means working with people. Individual people who have their own personalities and wills and whose personalities and wills will all be playing off of each other in a group setting. You can't "script" your lesson. You have to be spontaneous. You have to be flexible. Because it's not just a one-way street. You aren't just giving knowledge, especially not in a conversation class. No, each moment depends on how the students respond, or even more terrifying, how they don't respond.

But I'm learning, and what's more, I'm teaching independently this time. I'm sorry, but it's so much easier. I don't have to accommodate someone else's style this way and I'm free to test out my own ideas. I arrived a few minutes early to get oriented. There's something about feeling comfortable in the space you're teaching in. I hated the rooms we were in last time. They were intimidatingly huge for such a small class size and not very welcoming. I was glad to have the extra time to get settled, especially as the desks were stacked in a way that resembled modern art. After getting things arranged, I was feeling like at least something was going right when I realized I'd left half of my materials back at the nursing dorm. Crap. And so I got to scurry back to my room, up all four flights of stairs, to retrieve the stuff. Go me. 

In spite of it all, I was pretty pleased with this first class. It wasn't nearly the disaster my first day of teaching was, although being at the front of a classroom still makes me feel like I'm five years old. It was, however, completely different from what I expected. The students were not anything like the paralyzingly shy accounting students I had before. Oh no. Apparently theology students have charisma and this group was pretty boisterous. Luckily they were also reasonably respectful, so if I can just manage to project my voice better I think everyone will stay on task. 

When I had made it through those two hours I limped across the street to the hospital, now fairly concerned about my leg. My boss had said something about "cellulitis" and "bacteria in the bloodstream" which had gotten my attention. As I sat in the waiting room, Ozzie called to remind me that Anisha was hosting a dinner at her parents' house. I told him I was busy and explained my situation. At this point I was too tired to be disappointed at missing the dinner. 

The doctor examined me and told me they would probably have to cut the wound open since the antibiotic couldn't get inside. And so it was that after a brief consultation I found myself on a hospital bed getting my leg sliced open. For some reason they couldn't use a local anesthetic so I had to make do with a sort of numbing spray that sort of almost worked. Basically, it was quite painful. It felt like someone was ripping into my leg with wire prongs. Afterwards I was given more pills and told to return every day to get it redressed. Oh, and I can't get it wet, which makes showering so much fun. 

so I've had better days, but at least I don't have septic shock. My parents are probably about having a heart attack right now, reading this. sorry padres, I do take care of myself, I promise. I really hope every first day of teaching doesn't involve this kind of drama. Otherwise I'm not going to survive the year!