Last weekend marked the departure of my group of Japanese exchange students. It was an emotional weekend, an emotional spring really. Lots of big life events. But this capped it. I've become rather attached to my group of students, so it was very difficult to say goodbye.
The night before they left we had a goodbye party for closure. There was the usual gift-giving and reminiscing. And then toward the end of it the usual emotional thank yous and such. I find these events to be extremely awkward and uncomfortable, so I gritted my teeth through most of it, hoping we would get through the evening with minimal crying. I felt obligated to give some sort of comforting and uplifting response to, you know, end the evening on a positive note. So I fumbled through an awkward speech about how great of a group they'd been etc. I could see some of them holding back tears, so I went through my mental bank of inspirational/cheesy quotes and pulled up Dr. Seuss's "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." I looked around the room with a hopeful smile and immediately several of them burst into tears and the group leader started bawling. It was not my greatest moment of emotional intelligence. I found myself trying to come up with snatches of comforting phrases but really not knowing what to do.
Then I got to do it all again in the morning at the airport after only four hours of sleep. In fact, the airport was even worse because we had a big initial goodbye, and THEN we had to stand there awkwardly while they waited in line for security, with me again searching aimlessly for something to say. Then they had to go through security, a process that took forever, before waving goodbye on the other side of the checkpoint for what seemed like ages. I have gone through some pretty awkward, extended goodbyes, but this one wins hands down.
I will miss a lot of things about this group of students. I will miss their wonderful sense of humor and obvious affection for each other. All of those running jokes and the gentle teasing that marks a group of people who know each other well. I'll miss all of their quirky personalities. Kokoro's exaggerated hand gestures and funny mannerisms. Mao's quiet, inquisitive presence. Natsume's joie de vivre. Yuka's mischievousness. It was fun to get to know all of them.
There are a lot of things I won't miss too. I will not miss being inundated with a sudden flood of homework questions right before going to bed. I will not miss getting home from a 3-hour class at 8:30 p.m. and having to summon the energy to lead a one-hour tutorial. I will not miss waking up at 2:00 a.m. to the ceiling shaking and having to inform them that now is not an appropriate time for jumping on the bed or having a dance party. I will not miss being the constant center of attention the minute I step out of the safety of my room.
But these are little things, and worth the experience. Now I am living with my parents again for another summer. Talk about a boomerang child... It's a lot more quiet and I have a lot more time to myself. I'll be busy working and taking summer classes for the next three months. I think I'll work at CO-AG again starting in July. I need to prop up my bank account a little bit.
I'll be back at Mukogawa in the fall, with a new group of students to write about. Teaching is a bit of a revolving door this way. I always marveled at my high school teachers and college professors, that they went through the emotions of graduation every single year. Of course, it's different when you live with your students, but still. I said goodbye to another student recently, part of the family from Burma that I was tutoring. They moved to North Carolina in search of more job opportunities. Another tough goodbye, but one that has given me some perspective on the emotional ups and downs of my new profession. I still have the stability of home and an established cultural identity. I don't have to navigate new cultures out of necessity, and if I do decide to move to another country and try to assimilate, it will be by choice. So while my new lifestyle does take a certain emotional toll, it is relatively easy in comparison.
