Ode to a Cockroach

I thought I would overcome it with time, but it seems that I have a deeply held irrational fear of cockroaches. The sight of a single cockroach alarms me more than a swarm of bees or a giant spider. I tell myself that they can't hurt me and that I'm being silly, but it's no good. No amount of rationalizing will make me brave enough to approach the critters. They are gross and disgusting and yucky.

Which brings me to yesterday, when both of my English classes were cancelled due to the fact that today is a public holiday. I found myself with a lot of extra time and not much to do. In the course of my boredom, I ran across this gem, a collection of haiku about cats. Yeah, don't ask. Anyhow, I was inspired to write a series of haiku about my experiences with cockroaches in Thailand. I'd never written a haiku before, but I solved that problem by reading a wikihow article. Okay, so they're not legit haiku. The point is, it kept me busy.

My sworn enemy

is brown with icky long legs,

it scuttles around.

Cockroach on the floor.

Me on my desk, throwing things --

limited success.

I will kill it dead

with my shoe on the broomstick.

Crap, where did it go!

Behind the toilet

it waits for me to sit down --

I put on shoes first. 

It goes down the drain.

I put a bowl over top --

the bathroom is wet.

And I even wrote one in spanglish:

La cucaracha

ya no puede caminar

porque yo smasho.