Thai Names

Here we are, a post about what I'm supposed to be blogging about: Thailand. I don't believe I've mentioned what a headache Thai names can be. Luckily I've just had three packed English classes and the attendance record has risen to the occasion. 

You see, most proper Thai names are about four syllables long and impossible to pronounce. Think I'm

exaggerating? Try these on for size: Pattharasinee Buakaow, Phatchareeya Yotphean, Juthathip Pardubsridach, or Issaraporn Thunyakornpongpun. Yikes. Luckily Thai people generally don't use each other's first names, so I don't have to call on students by saying "Yes, Pattharasinee, do you have a question?" No, everyone in Thailand has a nickname by which they are commonly known so that it doesn't take five minutes to say hello to someone. so that should make everything much easier right? Wrong. Unfortunately, these nicknames tend to over-economize and sometimes are, to my ear, indistinguishable from one another. In class today I had Nam, Nan and Nai. That was my small class. In the big classes you often get people with the same nickname. If you've seen "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," it's a bit like the scene where the father introduces the family to his prospective in-laws. In my Monday morning class I have Baifern, Fern, Jay, Joy, May, May, Neung, Ning, Ning, Bens and Benz. Not confusing at all. Or how about my afternoon class: Amp, Amp, Amp, Aom, Aom, Ploy, Ploy, Poy somjeed, Jeed, Tor, Tor, Ying and Ying. It's like the 13 dwarves from the Hobbit (Dori, Nori, Ori, Bifur, Bofur etc.), except a million times worse. Attendance is a nightmare.  

some of the names have meanings. "Peung," means "bee" for example, "som" means "orange" and "suyai" means "beautiful." Animals, fruits and adjectives are common. For me, this gets kind of bizarre. One of the secretaries on campus has the nickname of “Gai,” which means “chicken.” Everyone calls her P' Gai, because P' denotes respect. First of all, I cannot get my initial reaction of “Guy,” out of my head. Second, I keep getting this image of walking into someone's office in America and saying “Hello Ms. Chicken, how are you today?” Can you imagine? Greeting people with “Hey Rabbit, how are you? Nice to see you Beautiful. How's it going sugar? Have a nice day sweetness.” (All real names!) You'd sound like the world's sleaziest politician. Sometimes I get a bit mixed up. A girl introduced herself to me as “Fai,” and trying to impress her with my Thai knowledge I pointed at a light and said “Fai, like light?” Apparently I got the tone wrong because she tried to explain to me that it actually means carton...?

Then there are the ones of English origin. I had a girl in class today whose nickname was "Nice." Except she pronounced it "Ny," because Thais struggle with the s sound at the end of words. similarly a boy in class had the name of "Arthur," but it sounded more like "Ahtoo." Or “Apple,” except it's pronounced “Appen.” I never know whether to pronounce it the way I normally would or if I should mimick the Thai pronunciation... You get some really weird ones. One of my first students had the nickname of "Air," although for the first few days I was baffled about it because it sounded like "Ayhh." Then she friended me on facebook and I saw that her full name was listed as "Onair sweet"! You get some awkward ones like "Gas," or "Porn." Porn isn't pronounced the same way, but it still takes a certain level of maturity not to laugh. Oh the names I have heard. One student's name is “Beer.” At first, with names like this, it was so hard not to do a double take. “sorry, your name is... Beer?” Now I just smile and take a stab at saying their name. Usually they correct me and I don't have to be awkward and say “sorry, say again?” Oh the names I have mangled.

Anyhow, it's been good fun and I've given plenty of trouble with my own name. Back when I had to go to the hospital the staff were absolutely baffled as to what they should call me. I didn't even recognize that they were calling my name at first. Finally, after a few of these mishaps one of them looked at me and asked “sorry, what is your name?” so I guess it all comes out even in the end.

If I had to pick a favorite, I think I would choose the name recently given to a newborn, "Ing." The baby was named Ing because it is the progressive tense in English. so, doing, walking, learning, working, playing... I think that's a pretty great message to send your kid, and as an English teacher I'm pleased that this child will have a leg up on understanding the progressive tense.