Tuesday, October 11th

For my final day in Chiang Mai I had scheduled a visit to an elephant camp near town. This is something I had already done with Zoe, my friend from New Zealand, but it was fun to take my parents up there. We had a great tour guide who, when he discovered I had been living in Chiang Mai for a year and still didn't have a Thai nickname, took it upon himself to christen me with one. He decided to call me “Malee” for the rest of the tour, which means Jasmine. “It's white, like you,” he said. Once again the weather was perfect and we had a very enjoyable day which ended in bamboo rafting down the river. I had been so worried about the flooding in Chiang Mai the week before and what this might mean for my parents' visit that I was very grateful for the weather we got. In fact, I felt a bit guilty for being so selfish about such a thing when I knew that the floods were far more dangerous and damaging to many people while all I had to worry about was whether or not we would have fine weather for our leisure time. This year has done a lot to take me out of my sheltered American bubble, but I am obviously still a spoiled brat at the end of the day.

During the raft ride, one of our “captains” started asking me questions and I was able to have a conversation with him in Thai that basically used up most of my vocabulary. I really didn't get many chances to practice my conversational Thai this year because I was usually either teaching English or hanging out with native English speakers, so it was fun to actually apply what I'd learned. In fact, many of the places I've gone I've overheard people turn to each other and remark “she can speak Thai!” which is utter bull but still good for my ego.

What with all my activities, I hadn't had much of a chance to arrange a final goodbye with my coworkers, not to mention Esther and Rob. So on returning we worked out a way to meet Esther and Rob for dinner and then I resolved to try and meet up with the other volunteers, who were celebrating a birthday. It was good to officially say farewell to Rob and Esther, who have in so many ways shaped my experience of Chiang Mai and who I owe so much to. I will miss working for Esther, who was less like a boss and more like a mom, and I will miss Rob's curmudgeonly presence. I will miss hanging out at their house and their amazing suppport and guidance. They are the ones who ultimately made this year possible for me by creating this position. I have gained so much through it and am very thankful. But all things must come to an end and so I turned in the keys to my motorbike and received goodbye hugs despite my contagious condition. I'm really pretty awful with goodbyes under normal circumstances and in this instance I think I was even more quiet than usual.

By this time it was pretty late so I decided to head back to the dorm with hopes the other volunteers would swing by. I walked my way back from the Nawarat Bridge, a familiar walk for me, while reflecting on the year. I wasn't disappointed when I returned. After a few minutes of packing, Katie informed me that the other volunteers had come to say goodbye. We spent some time shooting the breeze outside the gate of the nursing campus. My friend som took one look at me and said, “Don't cry.” “I'm not,” I replied matter-of-factly, which was apparently not the correct response because then she got offended and hit me over the head. Again people insisted on giving me hugs, so if the entire team has pinkeye I refuse to take any responsibility. I also made sure to say goodbye to Jew, my former student and coworker, and to Yaweav, the nursing student who had so kindly shown me around when I was new and confused. Then I finished packing my things and prepared for an early departure in the morning.

Monday, October 10th

I left my parents to their own devices this morning as I had several errands to run. I needed to visit the Immigration Office for one more check in, sort out my bank account (did I mention I also lost my bank card right before my parents came?), visit the doctor, and arrange our transportation out of Chiang Mai. I managed to get everything done except the last task before noon, when I met my parents for lunch and we sorted out what to do for the rest of the day. I had been wanting to visit the museum, but unfortunately we discovered it was closed on Mondays (Of course. Are you sensing a pattern here?) so we decided it would be best just to take it easy so we could go souvenir shopping that evening. For dinner I was going to take them to a neat restaurant I knew of by the river, but it also was closed, probably due to the previous week's flooding so we ended up eating at the market. Otherwise the weather really didn't inconvenience us much. 

Shopping with my parents was an interesting experience because it was so different to be treated like a tourist and so fun to surprise the vendors with my knowledge of basic Thai. I did my best to haggle with them for cheaper prices, but while I generally failed to get much of a discount I was always guaranteed to get a smile. During this entire trip it has been fun to inform people that I've lived in Chiang Mai for a year and to show off a little bit of my Thai. People on the tourist circuit are generally very surprised and pleased. 

sunday, October 9th

I had a full day planned for sunday, so I was very dismayed to find that both my eyes were red when I woke up that morning, which meant I probably had pinkeye. Lucky me. Of course that would happen at the beginning of my two weeks of travel. I reluctantly reached for my glasses, which are not quite the right prescription, and mentally altered the day's plans to include a visit to my most favorite place in Chiang Mai: McCormick Hospital. After meeting my parents for breakfast next to the east gate of the city, we all took a songtaew back up to the hospital where I discovered that the eye clinic was closed on sundays. Of course. Well there wasn't much I could do except continue with my day's itinerary, so we hailed another songtaew to take us over to Chiang Mai University where we chartered another one to take us up Doi suthep, Even though my health wasn't cooperating, the weather certainly was and we had a beautiful day for sight-seeing. After visiting the temple on the mountain, we continued up to the Phuphing Palace to look at the gardens. Unfortunately not much seemed to be in season, but it was still pleasant to be out of the city and up in the cooler, fresh mountain air.

That afternoon I had planned on attending Chiang Mai Community Church with my parents, both so they could visit it and so that I could say goodbye to people, but we were pretty tired by the time we made it back from Doi suthep. I didn't particularly want to spread a pinkeye epidemic around Chiang Mai's Christian community and, probably more to the point, my vanity didn't really give me a desire to go and interact with lots of people. I didn't really want my last impression on anybody to be me looking like something out of a zombie movie. Really the entire time I had pinkeye was pretty miserable as I felt like I should have been ringing some kind of warning bell and possibly shouting “Unclean! Unclean!” at intervals. This was also the day that I found I had shared my unfortunate affliction with my roommate, so I basically felt like a terrible person and a menace to society.

After a nap, I chose to take my parents to a restaurant on the roof of the Pornping Hotel (Are you laughing at that? What are you 12?) We had a beautiful view of the city at night and it was dark enough that no one could see my eyes. Getting there was a bit of a trick and we ended up taking a three-wheeled “Tuk-tuk,” which was a new experience for my parents, who were only just getting used to Chiang Mai's ubiquitous songtaews. After dinner we went to check out the sunday night market, but I was tired and neither of my folks are really into shopping, so after a brief look we called it a day.

saturday, October 8th

My parents were scheduled to arrive early on saturday, October 8. Mai had found a really good deal on a very nice hotel in town that her mom had stayed at, and so I made reservations for them there and arranged for an airport pick up. I was pretty anxious and excited the night before their arrival as I hadn't seen them in a year and as there was so much to sort out regarding our travel plans, not to mention the prospect of saying goodbye to everyone in Chiang Mai and the looming job search that will greet me when I finally make it home. I didn't sleep well that night and when I woke up that morning I noticed that one of my eyes was bloodshot. Choosing to ignore this unfortunate and forboding symptom, I hurried down to the hotel where I anxiously awaited my parents arrival, only to discover that their original flight had been cancelled and they wouldn't arrive for another hour or so. So I went back to my room and took a nap before driving back down to the hotel where I was able to greet my parents and make sure they got settled okay.

It was strange and a little surreal to have my parents staying in Chiang Mai. After they'd had a chance to rest and recover from their long flight, I took them up to the nursing campus where we had lunch at my “usual” restaurant and I showed them around my adopted home. Then we went back to the Old City and did a brief walking tour of some of the highlights of the city. It was fun to show off my knowledge of Chiang Mai and see my parents' initial reactions to Thailand. We had a bit of difficulty making it back to the hotel, but we made it in the end and arranged a time to meet for breakfast in the morning. 

Goodbyes

It feels like these last two weeks are one long goodbye. The nursing dorm hosted a nice farewell party for me, which was attended by most of the Christian cell group and several nursing staff. It was very touching, but very surreal. I have worked with and lived with these people for an entire year, and yet in many ways I still know very little about them. I'm sure there are things I will miss about living and working in the nursing dorm. Teaching English has been rewarding and I know I'd be hard pressed to find a more fulfilling job. Yet I never really felt established enough in this position to really feel connected to it. I'm happy with what I've learned and accomplished and have really been blessed by the people here, but it just feels like it's time to move on, if that makes sense. 

Last week we had a retreat for all the volunteers. It was a mix of the newbies, Caitlin, Katie and Aki, the current volunteers Eric and Anisha, and those of us who are leaving, Mai, sarah and myself. We were all given a chance to reminisce and reflect on our time here and to evaluate the position as well as give recommendations on how it could be improved. It was weird to think back to our first "meeting" of this sort when we were all introducing ourselves. 

Then this weekend my friend som organized a farewell party for me. It was a bit weird to have it when I still have several days left in Chiang Mai, but it was also kind of nice as it made it less of a big deal. I don't really like big, emotional goodbyes. I always feel like I'm expected to feel a certain way and I don't like making a big show of my emotions. so I'm always caught between trying to conform with people's expectations and feeling like a big phony or like there's something wrong with me for not getting all emotional. It's not that I'm a robot, I just get self-conscious. 

But now the final goodbyes have begun. sarah and Mai leave for a one month bike trip tomorrow. I said goodbye to sarah, my original roommate, tonight. It reminded me of saying goodbye to Zoe in Franz Josef. I just have this feeling that I'll see sarah again, just like I did with Zoe. I was right that time, so hopefully I'll be right this time too. I'll bid Mai goodbye tomorrow. Thursday will be my final spaghetti dinner (depending on the weather) and quiz night, so I'll say goodbye to a lot of folks there. Then my parents arrive and it'll be the real deal in one short week. It's kind of exhausting. I understand the need to mark these transitions, that it gives closure and all that, but this is why I kind of dislike these events. It's tiring to continually be attending them. 

I was thinking about taking a short trip this week, but I've decided just to hang around town. It'll be less stressful and gives me more of a chance to wrap up any loose ends. I'm glad I have all of you waiting for me on the other side of all these goodbyes. 

Classical Music psa

I've finished grading! To express my happiness, here is a favorite piece of mine by Chopin. I think Chopin is my favorite composer for solo piano. He's so diverse and expressive and he makes such a great use of the instrument. All of his pieces have a lot of different colors and voices to them. This one is one of his etudes, which is basically supposed to be a boring finger exercise but in this case it's an exercise in awesome. This particular etude is in Gb Major and is known as the "Black Keys" etude. I like the way it builds around 0:20. Listen for the pentatonic scale around the 1:00 mark. Fun stuff and expresses my current mood.

Working with non-musicians

Trying to provide music to the people who need it can be a challenge, especially when they have no idea how music works. I have been helping to lead worship music on piano twice a week for chapel. It hasn't been too difficult as the service is only for half an hour and usually only includes one song, but there have still been some awkward moments. For example, the times when the person leading the singing has looked over to me, during the service, just after I've played the intro, and said "lower please!" While there are very talented pianists who are capable of accommodating such requests, I am not one of them. Especially not when I am trying to sight-read a hymn.

 This brings me to yesterday. On arriving at chapel I was informed that the speaker wanted to use "Amazing Grace." This wasn't what I had chosen, but I didn't mind too much as I know it pretty well which would make sight-reading easier. But then I was informed that the students would be reading the English lyrics off of a slideshow. Not a powerpoint presentation, a slideshow that automatically switched from one slide the next. I pointed out that I would have no idea what tempo to play at in order to synchronize with the slideshow and it would be better if somebody changed the slides manually. At this realization, it was suggested that I play along with the music that accompanied the slideshow. Not only was this a bit unnecessary, this time I had to point out that the music was in a completely different key from the hymnal. so we ended up singing along with the prerecorded music and I kind of just laughed to myself about the whole thing.

Happily, the occurrence did give me a great excuse to share this video. I saw it because one of my fellow music majors posted it on facebook. Oh so true.